008 - Voice

[epiccombo]

Look, here's the facts, and the sooner you get these down, the better. I'm badass. Also, I'm Puckzilla. You don't want to mess around with me, 'cause doing that's kinda dangerous.

So here's the deal, and I know none of you are going to buy it. But it's totally the truth. I'm not a liar.

That event we just had? It was all kinds of screwed up. Even the greatest, most hardcore man alive would turn things around after going through something like that.


Now, I'm all about being nicer to Jews, but since I think Rachel and I are the only ones around, we're gonna try a little something. So long as you're not a complete dick, or jackass, or whatever, I'm gonna be nice. How nice are we talking?

Even I don't know that.

[Something in his voice suggests a warning, saying that no one should expect too much. It's possible that Puck may change his mind in ten minutes or in ten days. It all depends.]

Comments

[epiccombo.livejournal.com]

Puckzilla doesn't count, though.

And I didn't say shit in third person.

[itsahotone.livejournal.com]

This time.

[She knows how you are, man.]

Anyway, why doesn't that ridiculous nickname count?

[epiccombo.livejournal.com]

[Go bug someone else, Santana. You're seriously cramping Puck's style.]

Uh, because it's a badass name?

[That's all the answer she should need.]

[itsahotone.livejournal.com]

[But...that's what she loves to do!]

You're kidding, right? Dinosaur and other weird creature-names are not badass. [She shrugs.] I mean, unless you're just trying to scare off the freaks at the bottom of the social ladder. Then I guess it works.

[epiccombo.livejournal.com]

[Psh. If Santana wasn't so great to make out with, he'd pull a repeat of last time. Maybe. He hated not talking to her, just saying.]

Whatever. Chicks dig them.

[Pause.]

Most chicks, anyway.

[Time for a question that might result in her ripping his head off.]

What's going on with you and that dude Sam?

[itsahotone.livejournal.com]

[SCOFF SCOFF SCOFF wait what?]

Huh? What do you mean?

[epiccombo.livejournal.com]

You and Sam.

Are you going out or what?

[itsahotone.livejournal.com]

[Ugh, damn her agreeing to keep his sexuality crisis secret.]

Eh. Not for long.

[As in, it's already over, but whatever. No harm in letting Puck think otherwise for awhile.]

[epiccombo.livejournal.com]

[Puck knows nothing concerning Sam and Santana except for the fact that they were dating. Have fun dangling stuff over his head or not telling him things.]

So what? You couldn't handle his guppy mouth? Or did he blow you off?

[itsahotone.livejournal.com]

Excuse me? More like I have no reason to hang onto dead weight when we're not even home for people to notice.

[That was why she was going to call it off, anyway. Stupid Sam and his stupid...getting to it first.]

[epiccombo.livejournal.com]

Seriously? That's what you're going with?

[He's not buying this, Santana.]

He didn't seem like dead weight to you when you were all over that trouty mouth.

[itsahotone.livejournal.com]

That's because I'm a good actor, Puckerman.

[epiccombo.livejournal.com]

Okay, Lopez, so all that crap you pulled was just an act.

So what're you doing now?

[If he didn't already consider himself a sex shark, he'd probably assign that name to her.]

[itsahotone.livejournal.com]

There was no 'crap' pulled. It was fun for awhile and he's a good kisser. It was mutually beneficial, but now it's done.

[Shrug.] Besides, did you really think I'd only settle for one person around here when just anyone could show up?

[She's a sex lizard. Duh.]

[epiccombo.livejournal.com]

No crap? Really?

[Uh-huh. There was absolutely zero crap being pulled.]

Okay. Yeah. You just go around hitting on everything that moves.

[This is totally not hypocritical of him, nope.]

[itsahotone.livejournal.com]

And how is that different from you?

[epiccombo.livejournal.com]

Because, when you do it, you're doing it to everyone.

I just do it to the hot girls.

[There's quite a bit of difference there. Don't even try arguing. It's all about nuance and detail.]

[itsahotone.livejournal.com]

Oh please. Like I waste my time hitting on people like Jewy McJew?

[Yeah, yeah, you're Jewish too, Puck. But not like good old Jacob, and you know it.]

[epiccombo.livejournal.com]

Fine. Everyone but Jewfro.

Seriously, why are you arguing about this? You know you go after everyone. You'd probably go after Wheels if you thought it would boost your rep.

[itsahotone.livejournal.com]

Why are you sticking on this so much? What do you even care?

[She may be a little pissed off now at the mention of Artie.]

[epiccombo.livejournal.com]

Like I need a reason to get on you about this.

[Yup, it's definitely because he feels like annoying someone, and Santana's pretty easy to annoy sometimes.]

[itsahotone.livejournal.com]

You mean other than feeling like a dick? You're obviously more into pain than I thought, since you're close to getting hit.

[epiccombo.livejournal.com]

Simmer down, Lopez. I'm just yanking your chain a little.

Besides, you know no one's better at doing the nasty than me.

[itsahotone.livejournal.com]

Yeah, okay. It's cute that you're so sure about that.

[epiccombo.livejournal.com]

You know it's true, babe. If you didn't, you wouldn't keep doing it with me.